Mi back, mi back, mi back, back, back, woi!

"Who sey dat woman can dun?
Tell dem sey de woman don' come fe done...
Man back it ben up, dem sey woman done
Man wid walking stick, dem sey woman done..."


Hmm. Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey nuff people no waan talk out pon wha coulda do Safa an Bolt, but Jackass no fraid fe talk 'cause no donkey cyaa bite me.
Now, isn't it curious that both of Jamaica's top male sprinters have come down with back issues at the same time? Lower back, Jackass dares to say. And when we hear about that sort of back injury in the Jamaican male, one likely cause comes to mind right away.
And it is not lifting heavy stuff (although some of the lower back injury causes can be quite hefty, heh heh).

Arright, make Jackass bray it out plain. Whenever a Jamaican man complains about his back it is instantly assumed that he was involved in a bedroom tussle with a woman and his back gave out under the pressure. In other words, he cried out (even in his mind) "mi back, me back, me back, back, back, woi!"

Arright, so we will never know if this was the case with Safa and Bolt (and none of you two-footers can tell Jackass that you were not thinking about it, OK), but the world is really unlevel in the pressure that is placed on the man and the strength of his back in this man- and-woman affair. Yeah, man, the man is expected to be sturdy and strong and be able to apply the pressure when required. What makes it worse is that it is the one back he has, that has to do everything else for the whole day - walk, bend, straighten up, lift - and then put it to the ultimate test and task.
No wonder Jackass stay in him pasture and see some idle bway go inna some man yard to them woman, after the man gone a work. Idle bway spen' whole day a res' dem back, lean up pon wall, a play play inna dem han miggle an a drink Guinness. Fi dem back arright.
Look at all the things that men drink to strengthen their backs. All those energy drinks are positioned towards serving one purpose - position (y'know, like Terror Fabulous' song of the same name). Boom, Red Bull (give you wings, eh), Harry Josephs' Magnum, the other Magnum in the little bottle and Arizona. Look how many men stand up on the roadside slurping down that nasty thing called oysters (it looks like the mucus from a bad cold, for Crissakes).

And, after all, of that, they end up still needing the little blue pill.
The truth is, in this battle for pleasure between the sexes, the man was not meant to put his back under so much pressure. Yeah, man! It is an equal opportunity world on all fronts. So why should man be the one doing all the back work? Should he not kick back half of the time and the filly do the work. Yeah, man. Man waan count crack inna de ceiling too!
'Cause man back cyaa jus' expec' fe hard like a diamond so? (Speaking of diamond, wasn't it the Diamond League that Safa and Bolt had to withdraw from? Me back, me back, me back, me back back, woi!)

Jackass sey de worl' no level. Jackass sey de coach dem betta beg de sprinta dem ooman tek time wid dem fi Worl' Champs an Olympics nex' year an year afta!

Source: Blacka Mail

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