Sunday, August 25, 2013

Justin Bieber Proposed…Guess How Selena Gomez Responded

By now you’re all probably just getting your lives back on track since Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez officially announced their split last weekend. The couple has been citing “scheduling differences” as the reason behind their split, but we all knew better than that. Shortly after their breakup rumors that jealousy actually caused the break up were flying. But maybe it was more of a case of rejection?

Yeah. Allegedly Justin popped the question to Selena, as in ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM, and she said, “No thanks.” And that’s why they really broke up.

According to, the whole ordeal was a PR arrangement gone bad. So basically, Bieber’s PR people were like, “Yo Justin. Great idea, let’s have you ‘propose’ to Selena to promote whatever it is we’re trying to promote. Maybe your lifelike sex toy doll or something.” and then Justin was like, “Yo dawg, great idea, but let’s not have it be fake. Like. I wanna marry her fo’ rizzle.” Yes, in my mind Justin talks like an early 00s rapper, whatever. Selena being the smart cookie she is told Justin to wait a few months and if he really wanted to marry her to ask again. Well, he did, and she still said no.

Embarrassed, Justin’s PR people coordinated with Selena’s PR people to come up with the “scheduling difficulties” BS so that Justin wouldn’t look like a pathetic loser whose less-famous girlfriend turned him down. JUSTIN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!? Bro, you’re like, still a kid with a great career ahead of you. Sure some of your songs are not my favorite but, we all know you can SING and dance. You’re like the next Justin Timberlake. He started off young and has blossomed into a having a really awesome career, he’s engaged to high profile Jessica Biel and everything is kosher. You’ve still got time!!!!
I’m giving all the snaps to Selena for being smart enough to know that a marriage at 20 was probably a terrible idea, even though her career would probably benefit from the engagement, she’d rather “do her” and get Biel like status all on her own. Four for you Selena Gomez, you go Selena Gomez.
To top all of this off, Justin Bieber actually sang an acoustic version of Timberlake’s “Cry Me A River” at a concert in Boston this weekend. Then he got pulled over last night for making an unsafe left turn. Boy, you crazy.

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