Looking for the 'real big man'

The prospect of having the nice car, the kids, the big house with the white picket fence and the tall, dark and handsome husband is rapidly fading into oblivion because there are very few young men who are making themselves available to adequately fill the role.

The word being thrown around by many is 'marginalised', an di hot part bout it is that nuff a who a use it don't even know wah it mean, and the set who know di meaning don't see how they are the one, marginalising themselves. Women are forging ahead of men in record numbers and as such it's hard to find that partner to complement our lives and one who can appreciate our success and be just as successful.

Yes you a go feel marginalised if yuh go school and play stucky pon u mother money, want 10 baby-mothers when you cant even buy yuhself a cigarette, and yes, you're gonna feel marginalised if you want a million dollar by a mawning but have no clear path or plans as to how this will be achieved. Nuff a dem talk a bag a tings and frankly, they need to just stop talk bout it and be about it! Nuff a dem seh nutten naah gwaan but wouldn't even try fi mek something gwaan!

Not everyone is gonna be a Rex Nettleford, but young men can dream of doing big things once they have the dream, the drive and the ambition. If there seems like there is no place for you in society, try to carve out a niche for yourself. Many of our young men are more misguided than marginalised because of a culture which celebrates the negative aspects of manhood and has warped the brains of the young men.

young boys

These young men need to understand that there is much more to life than having a bag a woman an pickney. The concept of dying early is also crippling the wave of thought of our young boys because many think they will not make it past 25, so why bother to do anything? But I put it to you, what if you reach 40, what then? The notion of who is the 'real big man' is shrouded in values that won't mek dem reach noweh!

Some use marginalised as an excuse to be wutliss! Is it that you can't find a job, or you don't want to find one? Many don't leave school with the requisite qualifications yet dem waan managerial posts and ignarant when dem don't get it like a you tell dem doan have no subject. Many find it easier to stretch out dem han an collect rather than make sacrifices that will elevate them. As a woman, it hard fi find a compatible man who deh pon yuh level (an I'm sure di man dem have it wid di woman dem to).

When yuh check di ratio, a nuff 'big son' deh a road who a look a ting or somebody fi sponge pon. Di man dem need fi start hold up dem head and look towards bigger and better things. Sometime to how it rough outta road, yuh haffi draw fi a 'big man' who more often that not is married, have grown kids and who jus a look likkle fun.

be responsible

For others, it comes down to sharing is caring cause one whole a man to one woman nuh seem feasible but unnu know who nuh join di sharing church! Nuff a dem are intellectually unable to stimulate a woman's mind and understand that every woman is different, and what works on one may not work for the other, so you haffi zone een pon di ting. Women, too, feel marginalised, because after yuh get yuh education and a look a man fi sekkle wid it look dismal.

Some have no desire to be responsible, and as a matter a fact, nuff a di big woman dem a bruk dem bad caw dem no stop get free suitcase a clothes from farin, money fi spend and free vehicle fi drive. It's as if being a responsible provider is the farthest thought from dem mind. Mek a dance a keep an yuh see how fass dem find everyting.

No problem to live inna one room, but have dreams to add on or move out and step up inna life. There is more to life than weed and grabba, and nuff a dem young bwoy yah a gi di female prostitute a run fi dem money!

Some have so many children they have lost track and don't even remember their full names or their birthdays. Di man dem need fi start apply themselves because women alone can't do it, and the men that are there an a hol' up di ting need some bolstering. We cannot continue on the path of strong women, weak men, because its gonna affect our country negatively. It's full time the men stop the finger-pointing and take stock of what is happening around us.

Women, we also have to do our part to encourage and build our men because one hand cyaan clap and we haffi contribute to the change. We need fi look pass the bling bling and the flossing, and know that that is only for a time, but a good man with character, good moral values and family values will stand the test of time, and the crown which so many a dem kill up themselves fi get will be added with no fuss.

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