Sunday, March 28, 2010

Rules of Engagement - Fuck Buddies

In today’s fast paced world, filled with drive thru ATM’s, fast food and smart phones, the next logical step is “fast fucks”.   During this recession period, I know it’s gotta be hard on guys to maintain having a girlfriend (s).  So why not downsize to a fuck buddy?

A fuck buddy (FB) is someone you have sex with “no strings attached”.  There’s no dating, no roses and you don’t have to introduce her as your significant other!  But you do get to call her at 3 a.m. when you’re leaving the party to see if she wants to fuck.
I’m sure the idea may sound immoral, but there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults satisfying each other’s sexual needs.  Besides, guys have been doing this for decades; they just never informed us ladies…right fellas?
As with everything else in this life, there are rules to this game, so follow these simple dos and don’ts to experience the advantage of sex…without the obligations.
1.  DO Set the Rules before you fuck - Every fuck buddy “relationship” needs a clear set of boundaries.  Before the sex starts, it’s best to decide what those rules will be, so you’ll both be on the same page.  Girls tend to get emotionally involved, so you’ll probably have to remind her (or them) that you’re just fucking.
2.  DO Wrap it Up - Don’t assume monogamy.  Use a condom every time.  Guys you know you’re spreading your seed around, so assume that seed is also being spread in her (by someone other than yourself).
3.  DO Get Creative - Having a fuck buddy is the perfect opportunity to try new positions and whip out the chains, handcuffs and vibrators.  Fuck buddies can be fun, freaky and fulfilling if you and your partner both agree on and respect the rules.
4.  DON’T See Her on a Regular Basis – Its best to not see her unless you know you’re going to fuck her…that includes not going out with her on a Friday or Saturday night!  NEVER call her ‘just to chat’ (she’ll probably start to think that you guys are an item).  You should only call or text if you’re going to invite her over to fuck.
5.  DON’T Entertain “Relationship” Talk – Never talk about life plans, or ask about her family.  If the subject comes up, try to find a way around it!  Or simply refer to rule # 1.
6.  DON’T Meet Her Friends – If they like you, they WILL start putting ‘boyfriend’ thoughts into her head.
7.  NEVER Talk About Other Women It could potentially start an un-necessary argument…remember women are emotional!  You don’t want to lose a good FB if you disclose too much information!
‘Fuck buddy’, ‘friends with benefits’, whatever you want to call it, is a healthy and convenient way to satisfy your sexual urges.  Women are getting divorced, breaking up with their boyfriends or deciding to have something “on the side” everyday so…get your FB today!!

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