Lawd have mercy people, deh week yah did need fi hurry an' come to an end. Likkle mos mi haffi go look fi mos' a mi parry dem inna jail. Everybody did have a problem wid smaddy and have it escalate to near war. No sah. Kaboom a say di week and di crosses people need fi get banish to di deepest, darkest, nastiest corridor behind hell. Lawd. Mi hope next week betta people.
NAKEDEST NAKED PICTUH IN HISTORY
People! It serious! Mi did know mi love suss, but dis prove to me say mi will go to di ends of di world fi link one source and get one scoop. One a mi INK sistren dem link me say she have one pictuh ah di big shot woman daughter wha leak out.
Di girl ah go college now an ting an' a fret everyday. Mi link say she feel bad so she naw email it, mi need fi come look pon di pictuh wid mi two eye ah har yard. People mi lef'
town and drive aaaall di waaaay go Portmore fi go look pon di pictuh. Lawd have mercy people! Mi nevah expec' wha mi see. Di likkle pickney naked wid har foot dem up inna di air near har head, and har hand dem a keep dem up.
People, mi see naked pictuh already but when mi all ah see tings ah expand an' me can see inna people organ, dat ah no naked, dat ah one medical study! But people di real horror is dat how di pictuh start circulate is dat di girl have it pon har computer and deh upload some pictuh pon facebook and accidentally upload dat too.
But by di time she realize say it up and fi tek it dung, di whole worl' have it already fi circulate. Now she a fret say har parents nuh see it. She need fi go dung inna sack cloth an ashes an' pray say deh pictuh deh stop go roun' an' nobaddy else nuh see it. Mi neckstring. Mi cyaan go look pon har modda wid a straight face now.
MUNGA AH WHA SHE DO YUH?
Munga Honourable - File
People di odda day pon twitter, Munga launch out pon a piece ah diss deh, if mi did have one Cherry Award, mi feel him wudda haffi get one fi "Harsh Nuh BackFoot Artiste Of The Year". People Munga say, "So aftah she switch d don, dem dis har n tell har seh she nuh betta than Rosie." Lawd have mercy. A wha di singer do yuh mek yuh ah do har so? Di odda day mi did mek one observation bout har ah bounce roun' inna di business and say mi hope she stop, but lawd, mi nuh tink she so bad. Dem smaddy deh have a track record beyond comparison. Munga, when yuh say 'go hard' a dat yuh really mean to backfoot.
SPEAKING OF TWITTER
People dis is a break in transmission. Mi did join twitter from last year an' nuh use it. Everybody a cuss me say mi muss go back an' all dese tings. So mi start again. Mi nuh deh nowhe else pon twitter, ah only one account mi have and no pictuh and no mi nuh have a website, so nuh email me an' ask me who dat an' how she look so. An' den mi see who oonu a talk bout, an oonu need fi behave, dat uncalled fah. She a do har ting an' mi like har release dem, so low har. When mi say Hot Gal Cherry, dat mi mean, an' di only people mi write fah is the Number 1 paper in the country, the star, The People Paper. Follow mi pon twitter at www.twitter.com/hotgalcherry.
ALL DAT FI A BLACKBERRY?
Mi nevah know say some gyal wudda go so far fi a Blackberry, when everybody have Blackberry now and a use dem stone one eye Johncrow an' dawg. Ah whaapen to some gyal ah laywait artiste after session an' jump inna back a car fi clean dem off wid dem mout' den jump out ah boast say yuh soon get yuh Blackberry. Lawd, time cyaan so hard, an' people cyaan so fool juss fi one phone. Not to mention say everybody line off outside ah di car a look een pon yuh ah show it. Yuh nuh have no fren fi tell yuh say yuh cyaan do dem tings deh, muchless fi one phone. Plus how yuh know say yuh go get nutten or hear back from him aftah all dat? No sah. Some gyal shame tree rotten out from root.
KRITIK VS JAY WILL
No people, mi a put dem inna competition wid one anadda. Oonu see Demarco and Craig Show It video wha Kritik direct and edit? Di quality maaad! International standard mi say enuh. Di ting cleeean. Before mi did see di credits come up, mi did tek it fi granted say a Jay Will do it. No Jay dem a creep up pon yuh billias star, cause di ting mad. Terminal 4 alright, but dem need nuff work. Summen wrong up wid dem edits and ting. Ras Kassa, mi nuh know, your tings shot from mawning but people ah yard cyaan afford yuh again. Recession mi dupes. Get back eena di race likkle cheaper.
SICK IN HEAD
What a way Kenrick from Sick In Head deh Sweden ah tek life an all dese tings. Dweet mi dads! Mi like fi see when di inna city yute dem get an opportunity and milk di life outta it. Mi get fi understan' say him ovah deh a do him dancing ting and still a do show, plus have one dance school wid him girlfrien' Chiktitita. Yes people, a dat ah har nickname. Lawd have mercy, deh name deh have mi confused juss fi write it. A one white girl wha love him like cook food, mi a hear. But mi a wondah how di barrier work wid him. But mi guess Chiktitita help him wid dat.
MI WAAH FI KNOW:
Mr Vegas - Contributed
If ah true say Mr. Vegas ago donate all ah him pay from one upcoming show to one children's home? An people, mi hear say ah some whole heap ah thousands of US dollah. If a true, bless up.
Lawd have mercy people, deh week yah did need fi hurry an' come to an end. Likkle mos mi haffi go look fi mos' a mi parry dem inna jail. Everybody did have a problem wid smaddy and have it escalate to near war. No sah. Kaboom a say di week and di crosses people need fi get banish to di deepest, darkest, nastiest corridor behind hell. Lawd. Mi hope next week betta people. Link me pon email@example.com.