Friday Suss

What a gwaan people? Sorry bout di recent absence. Too much tings did ah happen inna di nation an' every week we have a new horror. My gawd what a ruff set a week!!! Mi really hope tings nuh get wuss, cause what a way we wudda haffi start swim go Haiti an' dem wudda start tun we back an' do vox pop pon "What A Gwaan?" say if Jamaicans shudda able fi come inna dem country. Have mercy.
Mi also waah fi big up Raga! Woiiii hot body Raga yuh nevah stop till yuh find yuh way inna mi yard eeh? The Home of Ragashanti and Hot Gal Cherry. Woiiii! Welcome, welcome welcome. Mi juss ah squeal an' boomflick so when mi hear say yuh ovah yah. Guard yuh body good mi fren, yuh deh too close now fi mi nuh tek a touch. Heh hey! Massive link me pon hotgalcherry@hotmail.com. Suss time!


REAL KOONUMOONU DEM
Now people oonu talk di truth, Beenie Man and L.A. Lewis really buss fight inna Oneil funeral procession? Some man juss full a hype so! Yuh have a time an place fi everyting. Dem cudden even puddung di foolishness till one next time. How me know say ah hype di two koonumoonu dem hype? If ah did one normal day an' one random drivah did graze Beenie vehicle, oonu mean fi tell me say instead ah him come out an' ask fi dem papers and tek dem information fi mek sure dem pay fi it, him wudda confront dem? Hype! Inna big big funeral.



And you Mr LA gone ah di man funeral a gih out poster an flyer. Mi say, a deh day deh mi did wish duppy real fi sort out yuh problem. No respec' fi di family and sincere fren dem! Di people dem who tek whe yuh visa Sir Beenie supposed to a say "Seet deh! Same ting!" You and LA onnu full ah...(yuh know wha, mek mi behave miself an' done.)

WHY? JUSS DAT MI WAAH KNOW
Mi need smaddy fi tell mi if ah part ah di initiation roun' ah Big Yard fi everybody hair S-Curl or Jherri? Richie Loops, my gaaawd! WHY? Fuss Chris, now you. Chris get rid ah fi him own, please fi di love ah di ozone layer and every bed spread and wailing pillow case, get rid a di jherri curl. Dere is no way yuh female fan dem go get close to yuh wid dem drippings deh.



As a male artiste yuh need fi increase yuh groupie count, an' dem naw go come close enuf fi as likkle breeze start blow, di jherri juice fly inna dem eye an' mouth, or wuss, dem CUP! My gaaawd! Get rid ah it Richie! By di way, a when yuh go do one nex' song? If mi hear My Cupp one more time mi go dash sand, mud and jherri juice inna mi eye an' earshole. Enuff now. Hit di studio again. An' please nuh tek no more line outta Lil Wayne song dem, cause ah him fuss say "what's in my cup stays in my cup". Please.

IT'S ELECTRIFYING
Mi nuh waah mash up nobaddy glass house, but mi need fi know if di electrifying one and Jah Vinci still ah chat? Mi nevah have enuf time fi stalk nobaddy diss week cause dem people yah did dung inna mi soulcase bout dem wuk. But mi really need fi know cause me always a wondah a who fi har man be cause mi nuh too see har wid nobaddy. Den smaddy ah tell me say ah di two ah dem deh. Mi sorry fi chat out oonu business, especially if oonu lef' already, but mi juss waah know. Eh-ehm-ehm, Jah Vinci main woman, maybe you might know. Woman always know when dem man ah gih dem bun; woman have a sixth sense.

WHA REALLY A GWAAN?
A how di people dem a Trinidad fi ban Ding Wrong from dem island? Ah joke or wha? People mi haffi tun serious ting an' mek joke, cause Ding Wrong only shout and dance wid him red cup an' di people dem ban him because dem did hear bout di bag ah violence dung ah Tivoli. All one farmer from country come pon radio an' say him get ban. Dem have him pon bench whole night like prisoner and dem sen' him back home. Rubbish dem island deh a keep up wid decent people. Rubbish.

VP GET IT TOGETHER
Mi really need fi know how Romain Virgo album release from early dis week an no album nuh deh ah Jamaica? People mi ah ask fi di album an' mi ah hear say none nuh available out yah, couple deh foreign fi ship dung next week. Dem nuh serious? How yuh fi release smaddy DEBUT album an oonu nuh ready wid di ACTUAL album fi put eena di public hand? Oonu nuh have no plan? Everybody from him camp out yah still a wait pon di man CD fi gih media, an' all now none cyaan reach. Oonu need a crash course inna marketing an' distribution cause ah di man DEBUT album an' oonu OBVIOUSLY only set one "release" date an' nuh ready fi nutten else. Rubbish.